Posts
Very often, I hear parents tell me about how, it is so challenging to get their children to listen and obey rules set out. I think in today's world, it's not about raising an "obedient child" but rather raising children to understand what "freedom within limits" is all about.
We live in a world that is full of rules and cultural norms that are important for parents to equip their children with. My advice is to promote freedom and make limits known. You can do it the old fashioned way, with a cane and fear or you can do it in a more gentle and loving way.
Tip 1:
Explain very clearly what is acceptable and what is not in your home. Let's take use of language. We all have certain words that we will not tolerate our young using, even if we might occasionally use! Define clearly what words you do not wish to hear. Then, explain clearly what the consequences are going to be if the rule is broken. Be specific. Then, implement it all the time, every time, everywhere.
Tip 2:
Checking children in public is absolutely fine. If implementation is to be consistent, then, it must be implemented everywhere. You can softly say to your child who has used a "bad" word that a rule has been broken and the consequences will be implemented. It can be a silent time-out, or even stopping an activity they are engaged in. It is absolutely fine. Very often, mums have told me that they are afraid to implement consequences when in public for fear others will judge them. Why should others judge you for raising your child to be a decent human being?
Tip 3:
Always make sure the consequences for a poor choice can be generalised across all situations. So, "go to your room and stay there" is not going to be a good choice for a consequence. But taking away a privilege like a "no more play, go sit on that chair" is more workable, So, be aware of what consequences you choose. This again has to be appropriate for the child's age range.
Hope this helps! Happy parenting... always remember you belong to a privileged class of people..PARENTS!:) Know that when you discipline your child, you are giving them life skills that will carry into their adulthood!
We live in a world that is full of rules and cultural norms that are important for parents to equip their children with. My advice is to promote freedom and make limits known. You can do it the old fashioned way, with a cane and fear or you can do it in a more gentle and loving way.
Tip 1:
Explain very clearly what is acceptable and what is not in your home. Let's take use of language. We all have certain words that we will not tolerate our young using, even if we might occasionally use! Define clearly what words you do not wish to hear. Then, explain clearly what the consequences are going to be if the rule is broken. Be specific. Then, implement it all the time, every time, everywhere.
Tip 2:
Checking children in public is absolutely fine. If implementation is to be consistent, then, it must be implemented everywhere. You can softly say to your child who has used a "bad" word that a rule has been broken and the consequences will be implemented. It can be a silent time-out, or even stopping an activity they are engaged in. It is absolutely fine. Very often, mums have told me that they are afraid to implement consequences when in public for fear others will judge them. Why should others judge you for raising your child to be a decent human being?
Tip 3:
Always make sure the consequences for a poor choice can be generalised across all situations. So, "go to your room and stay there" is not going to be a good choice for a consequence. But taking away a privilege like a "no more play, go sit on that chair" is more workable, So, be aware of what consequences you choose. This again has to be appropriate for the child's age range.
Hope this helps! Happy parenting... always remember you belong to a privileged class of people..PARENTS!:) Know that when you discipline your child, you are giving them life skills that will carry into their adulthood!
0 Comments